Three Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

A letter from the guy who eventually figured it out (mostly)…

Dear Younger Tyler,

Hey. It's me. It's you, but older, wiser, and still quite ill with some sort of dad joke plague (sorry, not sorry). I know you're busy out there doing your thing, so I'll keep this short. Actually, scratch that. I'm going to take my time, because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that slowing down a little tends to be wirthwhile.

There’s a lot I could tell you. I mean, those ’87 and ’91 World Series…wow. I could warn you about a few wrong turns. I could tell you which risks were worth it and which ones... well, we'll call it "character building" when you had to clean those scrapes on your hands and knees. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't change most of it. Those falls and picking yourself back up all got us here, right?

I sort of did with a little piece you eventually write, but in the interest of time, I'll relay three simple things you'll need sooner than you think:

1. Pause.

It’s going to move fast; you're going to move fast. That's not a bad thing, as it's actually one of the things you do very well. But there are going to be moments, big ones, where you cross a finish line, forget to celebrate, and immediately sprint toward the next one without ever stopping to ask yourself, "What just happened there? What did I learn?"

You don't know it yet, but there will be a time when you accomplish something genuinely hard — something that scared you right up until the moment it didn't — and you'll be so relieved it's over that you'll completely miss what it was trying to tell you. That moment had a message. Don't let it go to voicemail. Don’t be comfortable letting it become a smaller and smaller speck in the rearview mirror.

Pause. Reflect. Ask yourself the uncomfortable question: "What did that just teach me about who I am?" You'll be surprised what shows up.

2. Listen.

There's going to be this feeling — a low hum, kind of like a mosquito you can't quite locate. Because you’re so busy, you won’t hear it throughout the day. It’ll be at night, when you lie your head on the pillow, and the busy stops for a few minutes as you try to fall asleep. You're going to hear a buzz in those quiet moments, usually when you're about to make a big decision or when something in your life feels a little funky. It's not anxiety. It's not a distraction. It's actually you, calling out to you.

You don't know it yet, but that buzz is going to show up at some of the most critical intersections of your life. Some days it'll be subtle. Some days it'll be so loud you'll think everyone around you can hear it too.

Here's the thing: don't ignore it, don't argue with it, and for the love of all things holy, don't just pretend it’s a mosquito nearing your swat-it range. Listen. Really listen. That buzz isn't a problem to solve, because it's a direction to follow.

3. Lean into discomfort.

This one's going to feel way awkward at times, because pretty much everything in your world is going to tell you to do the opposite. Comfort is going to be thrown to you everywhere you look, constantly marketed as the ultimate goal. It's not.

You don't know it yet, but some of the best things that are going to happen to you are waiting right at the edge of something that makes you a little nervous. They’re waiting there, just on the other side of that feeling in the pit of your stomach saying, “turn around, now.”  You're going to learn to dance with that feeling rather than run from it, and when you do, a lot of things are going to start to make sense.

Discomfort isn't a stop sign or a locked door. More often than not, it's an arrow or a door with a handle that needs a little jiggle.

Younger Tyler, you're going to figure most of this out on your own eventually. But a little heads-up never hurt anyone.

Pause. Listen. Lean in.

You've got more shift in you than you know.

— Older (and still working on it) Tyler

If this at all resonates with you, there’s a lot more of this type of framework waiting for you in my book, You’re the Shift. It’s a great way to insert a little 1, 2, and 3 above into your own life. Check it out here or buy it here.